In the midst of the Christmas juggle I’m experiencing here at the Horn house (as I’m sure all of you are experiencing at your own houses this year), I ran across an article this morning about Costanza Miriano, an Italian woman who has written a bestseller about marital submission that has raised quite the recent attention in Spain – to the point where feminists aren’t burning their bras in protest – they’re tearing up her books, as this Reuters image shows:
Her title doesn’t mince words (at least in English it doesn’t).
“Get Married and Be Submissive.”
This is one time I really wish my language classes in high school and college had stuck because Google Translate leaves a lot to be desired as I was trying to check out her website.
Obviously, though, her words have touched a nerve. People are buying her book and people are protesting her book.
Just going by the quotes from her book in the news article (and I do this cautiously since I haven’t been able to check out the book for myself), I’m not sure what to make of what she means by writing “We [women] like humiliation because it is for a greater good.”
I can relate, though, to what she’s quoted as writing here: “It’s true, you’re not yet an experienced cook or a perfect housewife,” she writes. “What’s the problem if he tells you so? Tell him that he is right, that it’s true, that you will learn. On seeing your sweetness and your humility, your effort to change, this will also change him.”
As wives, we are a major source of influence to our husbands and yet I think a lot of us have settled on being the negative kind rather than the positive. We stake out our territory in our marriages before we even unpack the wedding presents and it seems from the many conversations I’ve had with other wives and emails I’ve received that a lot of our energy is used to keep that territory defined.
I don’t think marriage is supposed to be that way, though. I think we’re supposed to grow together. I think his territory and my territory should become – here’s a novel thought – ours together.