A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets
into hot water! – Eleanor Roosevelt

“The picture keeps changing.”

If you’re a Lost fan, you know that’s what Desmond said on a recent episode as he tries to piece the visions he has with the reality he’s experiencing on the island that he and the rest of the castaways are stranded on.

The picture keeps changing. As the wife of a deployed military reservist, I know exactly what that means.

Four years ago, I interviewed wife after wife whose husband was deployed – either on a ship in the middle of the East Mediterranean, or in Iraq itself. From my talks with these strong ladies, I envisioned the pride and dedication and commitment a military family has. What I didn’t see, and what they didn’t really share, was the hard work, sacrifice and sheer determination that’s required. The Bible’s misused and abused Job apparently never met a military wife, for if he had, I’m sure he would never have complained!

They say life happens in seasons – for military families, seasons happen in weeks. One week can be good; the next can be terrible. One day goes smoothly, the next is a Greek tragedy of comedic proportions. Things break, money disappears, kids cry and moms want to hide. Ahh, yes, deployment.

As a Christian, it is during these tough times that I have to remind myself God is in control. He does know what He’s doing. He knows why my husband is deployed and He knows what I need to learn during this deployment. But He never said it would be easy. (Military spouses know that ‘easy’ and ‘deployment’ shouldn’t even be in the same dictionary together.)

The Nitty Gritty

I’ve realized that what God wants me to grab hold of during this time is some spiritual grit. Not the “pull myself up by my bootstraps” kind, but more like “let’s get down under the pretty varnish to the raw untreated wood.” Let’s let God do something great. And let me just stay out of the way so He can.

We’re talking more sanding down than building up;
More fortifying than “bless-ifying”;
More promise than performance;
More endurance than immediate results.

I’ve never been one to really ever ask “Why, me, God?”
I have been one to say, “OK, what do I need to do to fix this?”
But sometimes, God doesn’t want us to “fix” it. He doesn’t want “I” anywhere near. He wants us to wait.
God doesn’t want us to be the perfect wives and the perfect moms or do the perfect things during a deployment;
He just wants us available for His purpose.

When we wait, when we persevere and endure and hang tough – we develop spiritual grit. Like strength training builds up our muscles, so does waiting build up our spiritual grit. And it’s that grit that sands down the jagged edges we tend to wear around our hearts, our egos, our personal only-human desires that can prick and hurt ourselves and others.

So if you are hurting today, and you’re tired and you’re just not sure you can go another day, reach out to God and ask Him to give you some spiritual grit. Be determined to persevere. Because you will not be doing it alone.

Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to him, If you scrub your
hands of sin and refuse to entertain evil in your home, You’ll be able to face
the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless. You’ll
forget your troubles; they’ll be like old, faded photographs. Your world will be
washed in sunshine, every shadow dispersed by dayspring. Full of hope, you’ll
relax, confident again; you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy. . . -
Job 11:13, The Message

Related posts:

  1. Finding Our Spiritual Surge
  2. Distractions of Deployment
  3. Does Deployment Change Your Friends?
  4. The Murphy Law of ATs and Deployment
  5. Where’s strength come from during deployment?