Care packages. Letters. Handmade cards from preschoolers.
Our military overseas sees incredible support from people back here at home. And yet, some of the kind of support they receive makes me wonder if it really does help.
As a military wife, I have been tapped more than once since my husband left for addresses. Not necessarily my husband’s address – just someone’s address. Some service member’s name and address so a well-meaning individual or a well-meaning church or organization can send off their batch of… whatever.
Several months ago I got the first “whatever” contact. The Christian publisher my husband and I both once worked for contacted me for Cliff’s address so they could add him to the list of servicemembers they were sending packets of Christian magazines to. They weren’t really concerned about him, or asking how he was doing; they just needed another address so they could add one more packet to the mail pile. At least, that’s the way the phone call came across. They were collecting names and addresses so they could do their part.
Later, it was Bibles. Someone from the same company asked for his address to send Bibles to the troops. Cliff got an entire case of military Bibles which he ended up leaving with a chaplain to put to good use. I think he felt more like a delivery boy than the recipient of someone saying thanks.
There have been more requests since then, usually from individuals leading groups or preschool departments at a church. And to be honest, I cringe when I get them. It’s not that I don’t appreciate what they’re trying to do – I just wonder if it really makes a difference to get a letter from a stranger, that really isn’t even addressed to you or mention you by name (this can only happen by the way if it’s sent in a batch to a specific service member.) Does it make the service member, the recipient, feel good – or is it more about making the sender(s) feel good?
There will probably be people who disagree with me on this and that’s ok. I’m not saying people shouldn’t send care packages or letters to the troops. But I know I’ve talked with other military wives who feel the same (the token wife with the magical overseas rolodex at her disposal) and I think it’s important to stress that relationship should be emphasized over resources. Also, at this point in the war, it’s quite a bit different for our troops then it was that first year. While it doesn’t apply everywhere, I’ve had to send very little basic supplies to my husband – he’s told me that he has seen just stacks of pallets of “STUFF” that has been sent to the troops – stuff that is just sitting there because it’s not really needed, or at the very least, not being used.
There are some wonderful organizations out there that do a great job of matching up individual service members with sponsors back here at home. You get to know your service member and you can better help support his or her needs. I think it can be too easy to just send off a non-descript letter or generic supply package and say thanks but stay completely unemotionally involved.
Here’s an example that maybe will help better make my point. This weekend, we had a group from the Sunday School class I’ve been visiting come over to help with some major “honey-do” projects around the house in preparation for my husband’s homecoming. They not only did little jobs, they PAINTED all of our main living area walls, including an 18-foot foyer. They could easily have pooled some money together to hire a professional to do it (I think that had been an option at one point) but they instead sacrificed their time and really made a commitment to our family for those several hours. They invested in us – a family that they are only just getting to know (we changed churches a couple of months ago). They brought food for lunch, and we had some time to talk amid the work. And in return, I have seen the beginnings of some new friendships. Relationship was stirred. Actions that fully demonstrate and get to the heart of what it means when Christ said “whatever you do to the least of these, you do it to Me.”
Too often, I think it’s too easy for us to throw some money in the offering plate on Sunday mornings and leave it to “them” to take care of people. Leave it to “the church” to help the poor. Leave it to “the military” to take care of military families. Leave it to “the government” to figure out disaster relief. And while I agree that at least someone is doing something when they hand a letter to a military wife to send off to her husband or someone else she knows overseas, I still would argue that a simple action like that could be more effective if that person was willing to – I don’t know – mail it him or herself and then mail that same service member again. And again. And again. Until they’re home for good.
Let’s get rid of this one-time “bless ‘em and forget ‘em” business. Let’s desire transformation – living out what we’re hopefully bringing in. The church will not change until its members do. After all, it is the individual that makes up the church in the first place. And so we are all called to be a blessing, not one time, but all the time.
Just something to think about.
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I understand what you are saying Sara. Yes, there are many people, companies, organizations, schools and church’s alike sending anything and everything under the sun. There are many people here in the U. S. that want to do their part by sending correspondence to loved ones, care packages and creative hand made cards however, I myself was a little surprised that many of the things that make there way to our troops from good ole Americans are just sitting around on pallets as you stated. For a U.S. soldier serving their country on foreign land seeing all those things sitting on various pallets is like a love that you can see but don’t actually feel. These are just my feelings, respectfully.
Now regarding your feelings towards those who want to do their part some how, some way. Many people do feel content enough by sending some type of “whatever” they feel that they have done their part and either they do it that one time or perhaps on a continuous basis which is fine because our troops do know that America does care about them dearly. We do need to get on a more personal level as you have stated in your thread, I respect that. I believe our service men and women would feel the message on a more personal level provided the letter was addressed personally to them, if it were me over there receiving a personalized letter from a fellow American I would feel it in my heart that my addresser truly appreciates the work that I was doing in each mission in the grueling heat, on the battlefield day in and day out. God Bless our Troops and this nation as we all do our part in continuing to keep this nation of ours secure from the threat of evil doers, amen.
I will attempt to reach some soldiers via the internet and through correspondence. I will keep in touch. David G.