All of us can agree that these days, we’re pulled in a million different directions most of the time. We have our families, our marriages, our jobs, our friends, our extended family, our church activities, and all of the million other details that pull for our attention. It can be hard to feel like we’re accomplishing anything.
When we’re waiting for something, though, that’s all we think about. Everything else fades away. When was the last time you had to wait for a table at a restaurant? The more time ticked by, the hungrier you got, right? And by the time you sat down, you were ready! Maybe you even grabbed a menu while you waited so you knew exactly what you wanted, ordering as soon as the waiter appeared. You were focused on what you were waiting for.
If there is a blessing that can be found in a deployment or a time of waiting, it can be in the focus you suddenly have for what’s at stake – your marriage, your family, your home, your future. The things that are truly important become your biggest concerns.
At our last Wives of Faith regional event in January, we spent some time dividing into groups of similar interests/same things in common. One of the last groups we separated into were those ladies going through deployment and those ladies who had been through a deployment. I got a chance to listen in on both groups talking and I was struck by something one of the wives in the latter group said.
“I now see this deployment we went through as a gift,” she said. “It got my priorities right – I saw what was important and what wasn’t.”
I couldn’t agree more; the time that our family was separated was so hard in many ways, but it was worth it in others. It woke us up to how valuable we are to each other, how much we love one another. How some things, in the grand scheme of things, just really don’t matter.
If you’re a believer like I am, waiting also brings your focus right to God because you’re reminded that you’re not in control. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but He does. You don’t know what will happen today, but He does. You are waiting, and He is waiting with you, hoping to show some new things, impress some new thoughts, grow you and stretch you in ways you might not have been able to do before this time of waiting.
Of course, there’s always the danger that you may focus on something that’s more of a distraction and hindrance than a help. Your focus may turn into becoming Martha Stewart or looking like a supermodel before your husband comes home. Your focus may become more of worry; instead of looking at things in a proactive way, you start tearing things down piece by piece, trying to solve the problems of the world while you wait.
Here are some suggestions on keeping your focus pure and beneficial to your life and your family as you wait…
1) Ask God to help you focus on what He wants you to focus on.
2) Take what you’re focusing on and think of ways you can be proactive while you’re waiting. If you’re focused on making your marriage stronger while you’re apart, read a couple of books on marriage, write your husband love notes and tell him how much you love him, pray for your husband daily and tell him you’re praying for him.
3) Ask yourself the question – when this waiting is over, whether what I’m waiting for is exactly what I’m wanting or not, how do I want to see myself when this experience is done? (Spiritually closer to God, more disciplined, more concerned about relationships…)
“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.” – Matthew 6:6 (The Message)
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