How do you stay busy during deployment?
March 3, 2009
PLEASE NOTE: The contest for the free e-book is over. Congratulations to Joy! You may still feel free to post comments.
I recently asked this question to my facebook and twitter friends: As a spouse going through deployment, are you always busy or are you always trying to fill the void?
The answers were really interesting. Many said they stayed busy, especially those who were mothers. But others said that it seemed like they were always trying to do something to keep from getting too still. Getting too still can be dangerous territory for a military spouse. Too much downtime and your mind can start to wander to places you may not want to go. Still, there were those women who said that even though they stay busy, they still felt like there was a void. So what’s the answer?
I think too often we spend our time spinning our wheels and not enough time focused on something positive. We find ourselves just trying to survive and by the end of the deployment, we’re tired, worn out and maybe feeling like we don’t have a lot to show for everything we’ve done.
Here’s the description:
Military spouses who are going through deployments sometimes struggle to
find time for themselves. They’re busy, but they often feel like they’re
spinning their wheels more than they are getting a whole lot done. When this
happens, setting goals and planning one or two special projects can change a
spouse’s perspective for the better.
The Busy Book offers 99 different ways a military spouse can stay busy
during a deployment. Ideas are found in one of four areas: physical, mental,
social and spiritual. A special feature includes the web links that come with
many of the 99 ways, leading you to more information about a specific idea, and
a checklist can be printed out for you to keep record of the different
activities you’ve already tried.
I would LOVE to give away a free copy of my first ebook to you, my great readers, so I will hold a drawing on Monday, March 9. All you have to do is add a comment to this post, telling me one way you stay busy during a deployment. You do not have to currently be in a deployment to enter the contest or to win. Tell your friends!
(Special thanks to my wonderful husband, Cliff, for designing the cover.
)
Related posts:
- Congratulations to Our Busy Book Winner!!
- Does Deployment Change Your Friends?
- “Sharing” During Deployment
- When Busy is Good
- Distractions of Deployment
Well I work from home so even though I don’t have to commute I still have work to do. I also have 2 kids and 2 dogs, they keep me pretty busy. But with all that said I still feel that void and try to find ways to fill my time. One thing I have done is started reading more. My Bible, books that have collected dust waiting for me to read them, etc. Another is I have been on an Army Wives message board for about 5 or 6 years and I converse with those ladies quite often, in fact have formed some wonderful friendships through that medium. Now that I have discovered your blog and face book and wives of faith I have even more friends to connect with. Connecting with other wives that are in the “same boat” is very important!! I am excited about the book. Thanks for writing it and thank you Cliff for designing the cover.
I plan weekly family fun nights with my kids!!! That is my best way of staying busy and looking forward to the end of each week!!!
Besides running around after my 2 kids during deployment. We stay busy by planning all the new places we are going to go see when my Husband, their Dad comes homes. We scan the internet and look at maps. We have a great time daydreaming and planning.
Cheers
Joan GaviniCampbell
I stay busy by organizing things, crocheting projects, finding new recipes, and trying to always have something planned for my day; even if it’s just staying at home and doing something.
Christine
I stay busy with church activities, teaching piano lessons, cooking, going out for coffee with friends, exercising, and then the day-to-day household chores. I’ve also taken a few fun trips here and there to visit friends and family. I can’t wait to read this book for more ideas!
Well I do home improvement projects…while my hubby was in Iraq I redid the bathroom…from sanding the cabinet and refinishing complete with new hinges…to painting the bedroom! Just gives me a since of accomplishment while he is gone to see my handy work and makes me fill strong…
What a wonderful idea Sara! My favorite way of keeping busy was going on “mini adventures” with the kids, whether it was going to a museum, the zoo or other such places, the idea was to get us away from our house and town for the day. It always had the effect of being a day where we connected with each other and distracted from the daily stress.
Otherwise, I went back to school to continue my education. There is not much time after school and with three kids! However, I would have liked to have completed a few home renovations, even if it was just painting some walls, and developed a routine for getting into shape physically but I never could get the motivation for those.
AWANA, one girlfriend activity a week, and blogging!
This is definitely a great question!
I felt like I was always running around chasing myself in circles. Right after my husband was called up, I got promoted at work. To most, this would seem like a good thing. But the added expectations on me (my own more than of my supervisors) only increased my stress levels. I was always desperate to be “more organized” or thought that I should just be able to “get it together”. The most that I ever felt calm and peaceful was during Bible Study. I know that if I had spent more time busy in God’s word and focusing on His expectations that my priorities would have worked themselves out and I wouldn’t have ended up as far off balance as I did. I was far too focused on myself and it took some very serious events to bring me back around to the right perspective.
Though my husband is not deployed right now, he still, is not here. My family always has a family night on Friday nights so that helps and through the weekend because I am involved in my church, I stay busy. But its during the week that time can get hard to fill because I was so used to working 40+ hours a week and suddenly went to not working at all.And when the other people that I would normally get together with are working, it makes me feel out of the loop so to speak. Over the past two months I have been making it a point to try and be a blessing to someone each week. This takes planning and that fills a lot of my time. I also make it a point to write my husband at least one letter a day and send it.And because of some very special people that God has put into my life, I am doing a lot better these days.
My hubby is on deployment right now. I went on a ski trip to keep myself occupied this time around.
We keep busy, by visit family, some are an our away, some are 8 hours away. The husband’s family is the one the farthest away so that time is special. Also we have been known to do things like go out for ice cream, for dinner!!! Also the last time, we got a new puppy, now training a beagle takes some time!
My husband just returned but while he was gone I think I finally had the exact balance I needed (finally!) with staying busy and having some needed rest time during each week hat past. My husband is active duty so he is away alot anyways and has done numerous deployments.
In previous deployments I had a job which kept me busy mainly during the week. I had a very typical routine of go to work, come home, maybe run an errand, grab dinner alone or w/friend, read or watch an hour of TV and go to bed. Lather, rinse repeat.
This last deployment to iraq was different. I made a choice before he left to not just exist and count days off a calendar but to truly LIVE each day. I had kids and didn’t want to miss out on months of their life because I just wanted each day to be done and crossed off.
I made a LONG list of every single place we wanted to visit in town. We would do little projects about it (for instance learn about fish/sharks and then we went on a field trip to the aquarium. I did this the entire deployment from day one and we hit almost every single thing on that list. The kids enjoyed the time with me and I with them. I didn’t have family visit more than 2 weeks total nor did I do the trip to see them since it cost so much $$.
For myself I started an exercise program, lost a lot of weight and for the first time actually toned up! I did it EVERY single day he was gone. I either got up at 4am or I did it when the kids went to bed at 8pm. I ran and kept note of my mileage. By the time he got home it was something like 900 miles of running. It kept me busy at night. I did other random projects around the house at night while the kids were in bed too. I caught up with long lost friends (wrote letters, FB),planned/packed for our move cross country (thats a project in itself), helped a neighbor who’d been hit by a car
(grabbed groceries for her etc). The kids and I did have some weekly rituals like friday after school we’d get ice cream. saturday mornings we went out to breakfast together and for a walk.
I had a few friends in town who I did see every so often too. Not much though every couple weeks–mainly it was the kids and I just having good quality time together. I can say I thoroughly enjoyed my husband’s deployment which is weird to say. Best thing is my kids showed ZERO signs of any stress or any behaviors related to being separated from dad. I learned so much about myself and my capabilities this time around, it really made me a better person and mother too.
My husband is in the IRR (completing his Master of Divinity before going Active Duty) but has done training the past three summers where I’ve had to spend 40 to 70 days trying to come up with things to do by myself. To help keep myself sane, I try to start a Bible study and do service projects for others. I’ve found if I focus on serving others it helps to get me out of the “poor me” mentality and serve others needs usually fills me up too! This looks like a great book as a resource for myself and one I would recommend to other military spouses! Thanks for writing a creative, encouraging guide to help us through deployments!
I like to create one big thing to look forward to each month. In March I am going skiing with friends, in April my brother is coming to visit, in May I am going to a lecture by someone that I admire. Still working on June on, but it helps to have something to look forward to.
To stay busy? I like to make lists of lots of menial tasks that I may need to do in the next few days and make it into something bigger. That way as I do each little thing that I may normally just do casually- it is on my to do list so it is more important. Not only do I do it sooner, but I get to mark off on my list which makes me feel good about myself, like I’m getting things done. Then, when that list is done, I make another one! =) It’s a continual thing and makes those menial things seem more of an accomplishment and makes me feel like I am always working toward something. Cheesy- but it helps.
I am the mom of a Marine, so deployment is different for our family. One thing that we do is to pack boxes with Operation Mom. I take our three youngest kids with me. It help them to see other families who are also missing their loved ones. I also made sure I took pictures with just them and their brother when he was home so that they can keep it in their rooms verses a family group pic.
I spent a considerable amount of time on myself: Pilates, yoga, counseling, hanging with friends, blogging, making new friends online.
I spent some time giving back: volunteered as an editor for an online journal, wrote lots and lots of cards for Soldiers’ Angels.
As my hubby and I continue to press on through our first deployment, I’ve found myself staying busy with church activities, roadtrips, etc. But perhaps the most unusual and slightly unconventional way I’ve seen time pass by has been with the help of “American Idol.”
I don’t consider myself to be a big tv viewer, but for some reason I love to watch “American Idol” each week. Each week my friends and I gather together at one of our homes and have a dinner/Idol watching party. It’s a wonderful means of fellowship. Each week as a contestant is kicked off I realize I am another week closer to seeing my hubby when he returns. Before I know it 12 contestants have been kicked off and 12 weeks of the deployment have passed by!
~Lauren
While my husband was gone, my kids and I passed the time making up new family traditions, like weekend bedroom camping, or pizza making nights, etc. It gave them something exciting to share with Daddy when he got back and helped the deployment go by faster
-Ebony