As many military families may be able to attest to, deployment is never fully over. I think the tremors of the experience can be felt months, even years later, showing up unexpectedly and in different forms than you might think. And if you know another deployment is going to occur, trying to get back on solid footing is like trying to walk during a never-ending earthquake – no matter how long or how hard you try, you still find yourself struggling.
One of the issues our family has struggled with that I haven’t talked much about on this blog has been the issue of weight. When Cliff was gone, I worked hard to exercise regularly and lose about 20 pounds I had gained before he left.
But working out and eating right were two different things for me. It was extremely hard for me to figure out the answer to “what’s for dinner” every night when it was just myself and my, at the time, 6-year-old. By the end of the deployment, we had picked up some really bad habits. Eating out became more regular than eating in, and the meals I’m ashamed to say that I served our son were usually one of three food groups – chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers or hot dogs. Oh, and macaroni and cheese.
After Cliff came home, we talked about how much we wanted to exercise and get healthy, but in the hectic pace of returning to his civilian job, and our family trying to once again find a “normal” routine, it didn’t happen. The habits I’d started while Cliff was gone continued and the working out all but stopped. Less cooking, more fast food, more television, less exercise. A really bad combination. And the 20 pounds I lost came right back by the end of the first year Cliff was home.
The most alarming part of all this was the weight our son Caleb had gained, first during the deployment, and the last two years since. Neither Cliff nor I ever had an issue with weight growing up, so it was startling when we started seeing the scale numbers go up at Caleb’s annual doctor visits. Though he was very tall for his age, he was also in the heavier range too.
Concerned and feeling like a terrible parent, I asked his doctor what we should do. What parent wants to tell your child he has to go on a diet? That question was also in the doctor’s face, and she just said what I already knew – eat healthier foods and get more exercise. He’ll grow out of it.
The problem I knew had to do with a lot of factors. When we were kids, we didn’t have 24/7 television channels for kids, video game consoles and personal computers. Outside was our entertainment. Being an only kid, Caleb doesn’t like playing outside by himself so he’s often in front of the television.
Hectic schedules, limited cooking skills and plenty of excuses were also issues.The stress we’ve had dealing with unemployment, up and down military tempos and financial worries have all played a part.
But the final wake up call for me came this past weekend when we took the family shopping for clothes. Everyone needed new clothes but when we realized that all three of us were buying clothes at least one size bigger than we’ve been wearing, I knew something had to change.
I picked up a book I got a couple of weeks ago, Ending the Food Fight. It’s written by David Ludwig, a doctor who specializes in kids and obesity. I read it from cover to cover in two days.
Dr. Ludwig offers some important insights into the culture our kids are growing up in and the negative landmines they have to navigate around. Television advertising plays a huge role in the minds of kids – literally teaching them that sugar and fast food are good and vegetables are bad. Turn the television off and you’ve won half the battle.
The other part of this book that I like so much is that there is some good common sense teaching for the parents. For a novice cook like me who has no clue how to cook squash or collard greens and who has always thought green beans came from a can, Dr. Ludwig offers clear steps and instructions on how to cook fresh vegetables, healthy breakfast foods, healthy dinners and includes many great recipes in the back of the book.
He gives you some great ideas on how to liven up your child’s school lunches. I had always tried to assume that school food from the cafeteria was healthy, but remembering some of the things Caleb came home last year and told me he’d eaten for lunch (beef nachos was a popular favorite), I’m convinced that sending his lunch is the healthier way to go.
There’s also a 9-week plan he shows you on how to slowly introduce healthier foods and a healthier lifestyle for your family. That’s what we’re going to try and attempt to do. We may not do it all in 9 weeks but we’re going to try and walk through each step, adding more and more healthy things to our diets and doing more healthy things with our time.
I know it won’t be easy. Cliff may be gone quite a bit over the next year with classes and schools and trainings through the Navy. So it will mean a test for me to see if I can keep changing our family life for the better even if I’m by myself. I’m calling this the “GO Project” – doing more and eating more healthy. That’s the plan.
I’ll post about our progress occasionally. I’d love to hear from others who may be struggling with similar situations and what you’re doing to make changes.
No related posts.
You can do it! We certainly fall into the same rut when Dad is gone, but we manage to balance it out with tons of veggies. I am amazed at how many vegetables we eat when I just leave the on the table for big chunks of the day, and I’m also amazed at what my kids like.
My veggie tray usually has cucumbers, broccoli, grape tomatoes, celery (never popular), red pepper strips, snow peas/sugar snap peas and carrots (I spend more to get the teeny ones, smaller than baby.) I also try to occasionally sneak in unusual things like zucchini or yellow squash slices, cauliflower, or whatever else strikes me that day. It is expensive and I go to the store a lot, but it fills my kids up and it is so good for us all.
Good luck. It is hard but I know you can do it!
Thank you for your honesty with this issue. I know for a fact that it’s not just you. And it’s not easy, either.
Stirfry is a popular dish at our house. We buy fresh veggies at the farmer’s market, (cheap there!) and then I chop it all up and put it in the frying pan with a touch of light olive oil…served over rice.
We have had the same issue with eating and exercise. I relied way too much on TV to keep my son occupied during deployment. Breaking that habit is really tough. Luckily, he’s a pretty good eater and likes veggies. The hardest part for me is now that my husband is home I am compelled to cook big meals and we end up eating too much instead of the salads and smaller portions that I was happy with while he was gone. We all give in to watching too much TV. I end up going to bed too late and not being able to get up early and exercise. I think I will check this book out!