Finding Our Spiritual Surge

Hello there! If you are new here, you might want to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this topic.

“I’m hoping he won’t have to go…”

“Hopefully this will be the last time he’ll have to be away like this…”

“Surely they’ll start bringing them all home soon…”

These are the comments of military wives that were echoing in my head as I listened to President Obama’s speech last night, announcing a surge of an additional 30,000 troops he will be sending to Afghanistan over the next six months. Ft. Campbell, one of the installations those extra soldiers will come from, is just up the road from where I live.

Those general thoughts have been spoken by different women at different times. Five years ago. Four years ago. Two years ago. Last week.

At one time or another, all of us have probably had these thoughts. That wars eventually have to end. That at some point our husbands won’t have to go again. That deployment will one day just be a distant memory, a reality show destined for the “Remember When” Jeopardy category.

But unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like the channel will be changing any time soon. The president’s announcement just adds reinforcement to the very real point that the high-tempo of deployment we have all lived with for the last 8 years continues with no concrete evidence of it slowing down any time soon.

So what’s a military wife to do?

Cry?

Get angry?

Threaten to quit?

Actually quit?

I suppose you could do all of the above. You may have done almost everything I’ve mentioned and more. But it probably didn’t help. Okay, maybe it helped a little. Temper tantrums are sometimes required. For a moment. But not for very long.

As I watched twitter and Facebook responses last night to the speech, I could hear one big collective sigh from military wives everywhere. Tired sighs. Frustrated grrrs. And yes, even some angry hmmphs. (And yet I have to wonder if there aren’t some wives out there who are so used to blaming deployments and wars on everything that is wrong with themselves and tbeir marriages and their families that they wouldn’t know what to do if all of that actually stopped. But I digress…)

Most wives have done their best to stick with the mission they (sometimes unknowingly) signed up for. We’ve found the patience, loyalty, strength and courage to press on, despite the obstacles we’re so often forced to climb over, duck under and do the figurative low crawl while avoiding a direct hit.

But that internal motivator will eventually stall out. And that’s when we need to think about planning for our own surge. A surge that will take us through the next challenge, the next mission, the next heart-dropping announcement. A surge that’s more eternal than external. We’re talking about soul-filling and faith-building. We’re talking about a spiritual surge with three phases of execution.

Phase #1: A Surge of Prayer

Psalm 145:18 says that “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” Psalm 91:15 tells us what God does when we do just that: “…I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him…”

As wives, we have a lot we can pray for. The safety of our husbands, obviously. But also the safety of our marriages. Of our families. Our husbands emotional welfare. Our emotional welfare.

Prayer does not have to be formal, nor does it have to be witty or polite. Prayer is asking God in words what your heart is already feeling. It’s a two-way communication, your own private line to the one who hears everything. Take time to pray. And expect God to hear.

Phase #2: A Surge of Commitment

This is not a time to be weary. Over Thanksgiving, I had the chance to go run a 5K with my hubby while we were out in California visiting him (a special treat since he’s been gone for 2 months on a TDY and has a few more weeks to go). Normally when I do a 5K (3.2 miles for you non-5Kers out there), I will run a little and walk a little, run and then mostly walk… you get the idea. My commitment to pound the pavement can fizzle the moment the road shows any sign of an incline. But my Navy hubby, used to the daily PTs he’s doing with the other guys in his class he’s taking, kept a pretty consistent pace and showed no signs of slowing to a weakling’s walk.

After about a mile into it, I told myself that I was going to do my best to run the entire way. I made that commitment and I stuck to it – and lo and behold, when we crossed that finish line, I was still running! There were times during that race I did want to walk, especially when we hit a hill – a steep hill, I might add. But my husband kept going so I kept going. Notice I didn’t say my husband left me in the dust. Hardly! In fact, I’m pretty sure he slowed down a little just for me, though he denies it. We started the race together and though no words were ever said out loud, we committed to finishing the race together, giving it the very best we could.

That’s what we need to do in our marriages, whether it’s a deployment or surge or whatever challenge that is facing us. We need to commit to God and to each other that we will stick by each other despite the hills and despite the hurdles. In the military marriage survey I’ve been doing for the last couple of months, a husband who is a service member recently turned in his responses and talked about how his wife is always criticizing him.

Read what he said his greatest hope for his marriage was: “That she will accept me, love, me, respect me, and be my friend not my enemy.” Ouch. There is a wife out there who is viewed by her husband as his enemy, and not as his loving partner who he can turn to for the support he needs.

Our commitment to our husbands needs to be absolutely clear – not to us, but to them. Can your husband say that you are his biggest fan? In what ways can you show that to him this week, regardless of whether he is physically with you or not?

Phase #3: A Surge of Endurance

Hebrews 12:2 reminds us to “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Whenever I am struggling, I am comforted in the knowledge that my Savior experienced every emotion I’ve ever felt. He knew what it felt like to be tired; he experienced disappointment, loneliness, anger, and dread. But he endured. Jesus knew that the cross was not the end result for him, that there were many other glorious and wonderful things ahead.

Deployment is not the end result for a military wife, it is just for a season. It is hard and it can be difficult to get through, but if I can remember what Jesus went through for me – what he endured for me – then I can be encouraged to hold on to Him as I endure being away from my husband.

If you are struggling this month with weariness and wariness, let me encourage you to launch your own spiritual surge. Ask God to help you feel His strength and show you His purpose for your life during this season of time. He will!

Need a digital stocking stuffer for under $5? Check out my e-book, The Busy Book: 99 Ways to Stay Busy During Deployment. Save for the holidays! The price will go up after Jan. 1!