Friday, July 30, 2010

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I am so excited to be speaking to the spouses this weekend at the National Guard Association of Louisiana Conference near Alexandria!

We are going to be talking about keeping a strong marriage, and yesterday I sent a question out to my Facebook and Twitter folks asking what they felt was the most important thing required to keep a marriage strong. Thought you’d like to see their responses -

“Stop having crazy expectations! There is no way he can live up to.”

“Ask God everyday to give you strength. Remember also to try to take a little time for yourself and if you have a spouse that is deployed, try to volunteer. This will help you to make new friends and be around others and it will also make the time go by faster.”

“Lots of hugs, patience, selflessness and communication.”

“No escape hatch. Keep the exits battered down so you don’t scheme on how to ‘get away’ or you could call this plain commitment as well. I always credit being in Germany for 3 years and living away from family the rest of the time with helping our marriage. Neither of us had anywhere to go when we were upset with each other–so we learned to just work it out.”

“There’s a great bible study available called “Loving Your Military Man” by Bea Fisherback. It’s based on Philippians 4:8.”

“praying together. being flexible (you aren’t perfect so why should he be)”

“Don’t hit “send” until you have calmed down. :o )” (From Sara – THAT’S A GOOD ONE! :) )

“I just wanted to add that the 5 Love Languages book was really helpful to David and I in finding what the best type of communication to use with each other was.”

“Communication, communication, communication. ESPECIALLY during deployment.”

“Communication, Faith in each other”

“Communication and talking things through.”

“Seeking God’s Love … His Heart… and His Help to walk in our role….”

“My biggest tip is *Communication*. Hubs just got back but we stayed in touch every day for the year+. REALLY helped our marriage.”

“communication-also being able to think about them before yourself.”

And from the one male military spouse who responded to my question –

“Communication, trust, sympathy, and sex.”

Of course! :) If you’d like to add to the list, feel free to respond in the comments. I hope to talk about this more next week.

PS – If you’re on Facebook and/or Twitter, I’d love to connect with you!

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Related posts:

  1. A Marriage of Inconvenience
  2. How can Military Marriages Stay Strong?
  3. God Strong contest
  4. “Sharing” During Deployment
  5. Keeping God First

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Chris Arsenault April 22, 2009 at 8:26 am

1) Make God the center of your marriage; honor Him constantly by showing your marriage is greater than just the union of 2 people, but represents the Trinity.

2) Such honor and commitment requires 100% rejection of divorce as an option, and a100% dependance upon sacrificial forgiveness, every day.

3) Don’t hold anything against each other at all – forget it like it was smoke. Forgive.

4) Always defend your spouse to the outside world – never, ever speak badly of your spouse, even with friends, because that opens the door for Satan. (If you do complain to others, it means you haven’t forgiven in #3.)

5) True intimacy means getting completely naked (emotionally, mentally, spiritually) with your spouse before the clothes comes off. That means really communicating at the heart level. Hard for guys, but it requires the wife to create an environment of complete trust.

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2 Glenda April 22, 2009 at 1:09 pm

love all of these. LOL at the one male response. :)

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