God’s design for us never ends, did you know that? Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us of God’s deep commitment to us. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart,” says the Lord.
I know that we often ask why when we’re dealt a hard task or an uncomfortable season in our lives, like deployment or PCSing to a new location. You may even find yourself wishing you could just put life on hold, or at least sleep through it.
I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now (you know, in the month and a half I haven’t updated) but for whatever reason am just now sitting down at the keyboard to do it.
If you keep up with me on Facebook, you know my husband has been on a TDY and we still have some time to go. This experience has been different from our last deployment, probably for the better in most ways. There is something unsettling when half of you is 9 hrs ahead – not so bad when he’s only 2 hrs behind.
One of the toughest times for a military wife is the season of deployment. I don’t care how strong your faith is, how deep your relationship with God has become – you will have moments of despair, feelings of hopelessness and silent prayers that things were not the way they were.
I really did not want to blog this morning. I have tried to blog several times over the last month or so but the words just don’t come out right. I want to inspire and motivate my readers, not bring you down, but the truth is that the past few months it’s been harder and harder to keep the mantle of inspiration and encouragement on.
This morning I woke up to more rain. Like much of the country, Nashville has been getting downpours recently, and we may have to change our name from Music City to Noah’s City if the weather continues like this!
I got ready and made my way upstairs to the office and sat down at my desk only to hear the sound of hard showers on my roof and at my window. And I sighed. Not a happy sigh, either. A “why does it have to keep raining” sigh. And then I realized I wasn’t just thinking about the weather.
I felt God directing me to do a word search on Bible Gateway on rain. And here’s the verse he led me to.
Proverbs 16:15 – When a king’s face brightens, it means life; his favor is like a rain cloud in spring.
Favor like rain clouds? Really, God? That’s a hard one. Because I don’t like getting wet when I’m not dressed for the beach or a pool party. I don’t like driving in rain because I always worry I’m going to hydroplane and wreck my car. And I don’t like how rain cancels out the fun – playing outside, going to baseball games, even cooking on the grill. Not as great when you’re having to do it under an umbrella.
Favor. A rain cloud in spring.
Now that I think about it, it’s true the grass has never been greener (or higher, for that matter). The flowers are definitely enjoying their bath, albeit a longer soak than they probably needed. And there’s certainly something fun about having a movie night in with the family.
But what about the rain that’s been coming down in my life, God? In my family’s life? Is that really favor? Because it feels more like frustration. It feels a lot like getting wet, getting soaked some days, with no dry towel to be found.
We have been waiting a lot lately. Waiting for answers. Waiting for checks to arrive. Waiting for something to happen. With no umbrella over our heads.
I was reminded a while back when I was going through the Beth Moore Esther study to stop waiting on the thing and instead, wait on God. I’ve tried doing that, but the rain, er, the waiting, has been getting to me. Maybe Noah’s wife felt like this too. Can you imagine being crammed into a boat with all of those smelly, noisy animals and critters, peeking your face out to the sky through a tiny window and seeing nothing but rain drops? For 40 days?
And worse, peeking your head out and seeing the blue sky finally appear from behind the dark clouds, only to be told by your husband that you can’t leave yet because the water is still too high?
Favor? A rain cloud in spring?
We have seen God’s hand of protection and His provision during these last 10 months. We have seen our marriage strengthened despite the trials we’ve encountered. We do see the opportunities on the horizon. Though they still remain farther out than we’d like, nevertheless, they are God’s promise that He hasn’t forgotten about us.
And maybe that’s the favor that comes with the rain clouds in spring. Because only after the storms pass, does the growth take place. The growth isn’t always pretty – weeds can spring up with the blooms. More care is often needed after the showers leave. Clean up is required.
But without the struggles, we’d never see God’s promises come to life. We’d forget the favor He bestows on us each and every day, in ways great and small. And He does give us favor – through a supportive friend, an encouraging phone call, a loving hug from a precious child.
Without the rain, we would never see the rainbows.
God, show me your favor today in the rain.
Over the weekend I had a chance to hear from a few different reserve/NG wives thanking me for some of the advice/encouragement I’d given on the different boards/forums I visit.
It feels good knowing that something I said helped someone else. It feels even better knowing that something good came out of the time we spent during this past deployment.
Deployments are tough, as anyone who has gone through one, will tell you. But I firmly believe that God doesn’t bring us through these trials just by accident. There are a few reasons we go through these challenges….
One reason is that if things were perfect all the time, what would remind us that we need God? It’s only by Him being in our lives that we can enjoy the great instead of the good. And it’s only by dealing with the challenges we face as military wives that we are forced to rely not just on ourselves but on Him. That’s when He shines the most, when we can do the very least. That’s when we see Him for who He is – our Protector, our Helper, our Strength, our Defender.
It’s also through those hard times, that once on the other side, hopefully we’ve learned something. We’ve seen a new glimpse of God in a new way we hadn’t before.
My hope is we can share that with others at some point along the way. That we don’t just let those tough experiences stay in the past, but we bring them with us to the present so we can help others who are experiencing the same thing. I think that is very much God’s intention: for us to encourage others and remind them they are not alone.
I think that’s what Jesus did; He came to Earth as a man to be an example to us all. And remind us we’re not alone.
So if you are going through a rough patch right now; maybe you’re in the middle of a deployment that seems like it will never end, maybe you’re struggling in your marriage or in your family or with a hormonal teenager – whatever trial you’re facing, let me encourage you to not give up but press in to God and ask Him to show you what He wants you to learn from all of this. And then be ready to pass those lessons on to someone else.
When you’re handed a trial, look for the blessing. It’s there, for you and for others you’re meant to help.
For You meet him with the blessings of good things… - Psalm 21:3
I’d like to end this series with what I think is the most important treasure we can have out of the riches we find in waiting, and that is the treasure of hope.
It can be hard to wait. Waiting can feel like forever. Waiting can make you wonder, it can make you crazy with impatience, angry with frustration, sick with fear. Job waited for relief. Samson waited for vengeance. Joseph waited for God’s will to be shown.
Sometimes waiting can be a crush to our spirits. I think about my friends at Union right now, trying to start the recovery and clean up process today after such a horrendous tragedy hit the campus last night. It can be discouraging and overwhelming to think about everything it will take before the campus is back the way it was. Time, money, materials, manpower. There is a long stretch of waiting ahead.
There is a lot of waiting that comes with a deployment. You wait for it to start, you wait for it to end. And there are moments where it sometimes feels like it will never end. And yet you wait. Because there is no other option.
But waiting in itself implies something. You expect, you anticipate, you look for… you hope. You hope for better days, wish for clearer skies, look forward to the sunshine instead of rain. You put your hope in a day that will be different than the one you’re living now.
When I was living through our deployment last year, I never thought, “God, why are you doing this to us?” I always thought, “God, what are you trying to teach me from this?” That doesn’t mean I went through that year with a constant smile on my face. Hardly. It was hard, and it was grueling, and it felt like a marathon that would never quit. It also doesn’t mean that I woke up each day ready to learn, pen in hand and notebook at the ready. But I had hope. I had the assurance that one day this waiting I was living would end. One day, a finish line would be crossed. One day, a whistle would blow and there would be time to catch my breath.
I believed that because I believe God is God, and as long as He is, so is our hope. Because when everything else is unsure, God is the constant certainty. When everything else is precarious and threatening to crumble down around us, whether it’s at the hand of a tornado or a friend who hurts us or a deployment that separates us… God is still God. We can wait because we have the hope that eventually, things will get better. And if things don’t get better, if life hands us lemons the size of grapefruits every day for the rest of our lives, we still have the hope that God is here with us, walking us through it. I am not alone. You are not alone.
So as you walk through this waiting, my prayer for you is that you will not wish it to pass quickly, but instead, glean from it like an old prospector panning for gold. Don’t pass off the dust and dirt and grime you walk through as trash to be discarded. Sit down in the dirt and carefully sift through those emotions, those frustrations, those fears and search for the treasures. The treasure of quiet. The treasure of tears. The treasure of focus. The treasure of hope.
Take joy in those gifts you find as you travel the journey. And remember that God takes joy in you.
Part of last week I spent getting my son (and myself) organized as we count down until his new school year starts. I went into his room to do one thing, and then found myself completely cleaning it out. We sorted toys out he no longer plays with, pulled the clothes he no longer can wear (which was most of his pants and shorts – he’s had a growth spurt!) and then I tackled the marker bag.
The marker bag has been with us probably longer than Caleb’s been alive. It’s a mixture of pens and markers, things I used when I was on my scrapbooking kick and crafting craze. It’s wound up being a marker bag for Caleb to use in coloring, but I knew there were a lot of markers in there that didn’t work. I pulled out an old scrap of paper and Caleb and I sat down on the floor of his room and proceeded to sort the “weak” markers or the ones that didn’t write at all, to the strong ones which we kept.
As our system developed – pick up the marker, take the cap off, scratch a doodle on the paper – Caleb and I would take turns saying “weak” or “this one’s good” as we threw the markers in the respective containers. The strong ones stayed – the weak ones got the trash bag.
It got me thinking how grateful I am that God doesn’t do that to us. I’ve had some weak moments in my life, particularly during this deployment, where I’ve felt very close to dried up. I’m not bursting out with color, I’m barely making a mark. And yet, God in His incredible way, knows how to infuse me, how to strengthen me, how to bring me back to my original condition that He created me to be.
So when you’re feeling weak, just remember that God loves you, and He’s holding onto you. He knows exactly the vibrant colors you can offer in life and He’s standing by You, just waiting to help. You only have to ask.
God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace. – Psalm 29:11 (The Message)
