It occurred to me that some of you reading my last post might be new readers and not know about our marble jars I mentioned we used during deployment.

This is the main way I used with our son to count down Cliff’s first deployment and we will most likely use them again when the next one comes around. I had heard someone suggest letting the kids eat a piece of candy each day and that just seemed to scream “here come the cavities” to me, so I decided to use marbles.

Image via Wikipedia I’ve been “tweeting” (Twitter talk for all you non-Twitter folks ) with Lauren Vargas (@AAFES_STYS) who works for AAFES and she told me something I didn’t know – that the commanding officer in charge of AAFES, Major General Keith Thurgood, was an Army reservist before accepting his current assignment. Actually, I think I may have heard this fact several months ago but it didn’t really register with me at the time.

This is encouraging to hear because for most Reserve and Guard families, we don’t have the benefit of being near an AAFES or NEX to shop and get that benefit of savings most active military families receive. I am hopeful that more will be done over the next few years to bring those stores closer to Guard and Reserve families, or at least the awareness. We currently can go online and shop and receive great discounts – it’s the commissary that’s a whole different story!

MG Thurgood has a message on the AAFES blog about the new Strategic Plan they’ve just released and I commented on the fact that they like to encourage military to shop in the military stores because they put money back in the MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation) programs which in theory benefit the service members and the families. I say “in theory” because for most Goard and Reserve families, we never see those benefits because we don’t live anywhere near our respective military installations.

So AAFES would like to hear from you – as a Guard or Reserve family, how can they better serve you and your needs? What would make things easier? I am also curious as to how many of you out there actually shop at the exchanges, either in the brick and mortar locations or online. How many of you are just finding out about it with this blog post?

Go to the post on the AAFES blog and let your voice be heard!

My husband is on his way home.

I got his call last night while I was at choir practice. It was very late and he was very tired but he told me they had made it. He was in Kuwait and it won’t be long before he’s back in the States and then back with us! Typing it out just doesn’t seem to adequately describe how excited we are! (If I uploaded a video of me jumping up and down, that might come a little closer… but that would also look really silly.)

Before this year, I never saw us as a military family. I saw us as a supporter of military families, maybe encouragers, someone running beside them cheering them on. But I will never see us that way again. We are right in the middle of the pack now. And that’s exactly where I want us to be. It’s exactly where I think we’re supposed to be.

This deployment has been hard. I’ve dealt with losing friendships, losing a Sunday school class, going through some mild depression over the summer, losing focus on work and feeling very lonely very often. This deployment has also been a blessing. I have gained new friends, a new Sunday school class and church, a strengthened relationship with God, new insights into what is important and what isn’t, what I love even more about my husband and my little boy, and a new focus on my faith, on my work and on ministry to others. It has been a season of growth and for that, I will always be grateful for this deployment.

Are military families cracking?
There was an article that came out recently titled “Families Cracking Under War Pressure.” In it, it portrayed military families as going downhill fast, with marriages crumbling and families falling apart and the gist of the article pretty much put all of the blame on the war.

I don’t believe that war can be blamed for a marriage ending. Yes, it makes life tougher, it requires more effort, more tears, more ups and downs, more intentional communication, more fortitude. But so does cancer. So does a child dying. So does any crisis that we come across in life. You can hang in, or you can give up.

The issues and the conflicts our service members are dealing now with PTSD are very real. But they can be treated and these situations shouldn’t be looked at like a car with no more gas, or no more hope left. It’s a season, and though it may be a very long winter, I believe firmly that God can bring spring again.

There are many, many military families who deal with war and then go on from there. They deal with separation and rejoice in the homecomings and shake their heads and laugh or maybe groan at the transitions they know they must go through as they come back together as a family. But that’s their family and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

There are also a lot of families out there, whose marriages might have already been a little thin, a little scarred, a little bruised before war entered their lives. These are the ones most at risk for giving up. A lot of critics have screamed and yelled, voicing their outrage that the military isn’t doing more for military families to support them during these hard times.

The military can only do so much. What are we, as fellow Americans, doing to help?

The help that’s required.
Let’s get more specific. What are we, as churches in America, doing to help these families?

I had a man email me recently looking for my input. He was excited about an idea he had about bringing some military families in and letting some Sunday School classes shower them with presents for Christmas. He wanted to know what I thought and if I could maybe help connect them to some families. My answer probably surprised him.

I told him that while it was great his class wanted to love on a military family for Christmas, what would be even more effective, even more powerful, would be to love on a family for the entire duration of a deployment. Take turns bringing a meal over every couple of weeks, give the mom a break and watch the kids maybe once a month if not more frequently, be available to help when things broke or needed fixing.

I believe our churches and Christ-followers in general need to start thinking long-term. We need to be willing to get our hands dirty. We need to be willing to share sweat and tears and anything else with other people if that’s what it takes to make a difference for Christ. It is too easy these days to look for the quick fix, the feel-good moment, the love without commitment situations. But I don’t think that’s what Christ wanted us to do when He asked us to follow Him. When He told the disciples to follow Him, He didn’t say “follow me and you will be comfortable, wealthy and enjoy life until you get to Heaven.” He just said “follow Me.”

One way to do that, one way to live out the Great Commission, is to make time for a military family. It is easy to say “I’ll pray for you.” It is much harder to say “I will make time for you.” But I believe it is just as powerful and just as necessary.

I had lunch yesterday up in Clarksville with 12 military wives living on or near Ft. Campbell. It was SUCH an awesome time of fellowship and fun and I really enjoyed getting to know all the ladies. They ranged from retired Army wives, wives whose husbands have been in almost their full 20, and to young ones, just married and facing their first deployments and in one case, their first baby, without their husbands around. I don’t know where every one of these sweet ladies are in their faith – whether they’re baby Christians or seasoned believers, but I do know that they’re going to need support. And by meeting those practical, physical needs, I believe trust is earned, and a relationship develops, and that’s when you have the opportunity to do more and see their spiritual faith grow as well.

Just to sum it up: Help with the housework and God will help with the heart. Just a little something to think about.