The following is an excerpt from Sara’s new book, GOD Strong: A Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide.

One of the hardest parts of the military life is the deployment. Being separated from your spouse can be emotionally grueling, depressingly solitary, and overwhelming. If you let it be that way.

During our first deployment, I was determined that it would not be that way. I approached this new experience in our lives with the fervor and determination of the defenders of the Alamo; whatever happened, I would not let our family down. I had a plan. I would be the Great Communicator, keeping my husband and son and the rest of our family and friends closely connected.

I would be the Great Organizer, juggling all of my son’s activities, my work responsibilities, church functions, and aforementioned family communications with the ease and skill of one who knows no scheduling conflict.

I would be the Great Cheerleader, offering an unending supply of encouragement to my husband in Iraq and to our son here at home. And to do all of this, I would have to be the Great Health nut. Yes, that was my plan. I would eat right, exercise every day, and stay fit and healthy, stress free and positively motivated throughout the deployment. I would be physically, mentally, and emotionally strong. Those incredible endorphins would keep me going!

To help in this quest for uberstrength (or what I ultimately learned is Me Strength), I brought along my iPod to the gym, loaded with the music I thought I needed to “get in the zone.” There were songs on there I had never listened to before but had bought specifically for the deployment – titles like “Fighter” and “Push It’ and “Let’s Get It Started.” I chose songs that encouraged me to push myself, to make my life happen how I wanted it to happen, to be sexy (after all, I wanted to look good when my husband came home), to be a rock star or at least live the confident rock star life. The other songs I owned – songs praising God, songs that reminded me of his goodness, his grace, and his control – were left off my playlist because I’d decided they weren’t intense enough. Not motivating enough. I needed fast and loud. I needed tough and strong.

What I didn’t realize until months later, when I was so spent and worn out and sitting on my couch in the dark, was that I had overlooked God’s strength. I had fooled myself into thinking that because I was Me Strong, I didn’t have to be God Strong. God was there, but at a distance safe enough to keep me from being reminded just how weak I am.

Part of last week I spent getting my son (and myself) organized as we count down until his new school year starts. I went into his room to do one thing, and then found myself completely cleaning it out. We sorted toys out he no longer plays with, pulled the clothes he no longer can wear (which was most of his pants and shorts – he’s had a growth spurt!) and then I tackled the marker bag.

The marker bag has been with us probably longer than Caleb’s been alive. It’s a mixture of pens and markers, things I used when I was on my scrapbooking kick and crafting craze. It’s wound up being a marker bag for Caleb to use in coloring, but I knew there were a lot of markers in there that didn’t work. I pulled out an old scrap of paper and Caleb and I sat down on the floor of his room and proceeded to sort the “weak” markers or the ones that didn’t write at all, to the strong ones which we kept.

As our system developed – pick up the marker, take the cap off, scratch a doodle on the paper – Caleb and I would take turns saying “weak” or “this one’s good” as we threw the markers in the respective containers. The strong ones stayed – the weak ones got the trash bag.

It got me thinking how grateful I am that God doesn’t do that to us. I’ve had some weak moments in my life, particularly during this deployment, where I’ve felt very close to dried up. I’m not bursting out with color, I’m barely making a mark. And yet, God in His incredible way, knows how to infuse me, how to strengthen me, how to bring me back to my original condition that He created me to be.

So when you’re feeling weak, just remember that God loves you, and He’s holding onto you. He knows exactly the vibrant colors you can offer in life and He’s standing by You, just waiting to help. You only have to ask.

God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace. – Psalm 29:11 (The Message)