Tag Archive: support

Is the Help We’re Getting Enough?

I have a new post up at Military Spouse. It’s about an experience I had the other day at a Guard base.

As reserve/Guard spouses, how often do we feel out of the loop on things? I mean, unless you’re either the FRG leader or you live right by an active military installation, chances are you are missing something. Or you just don’t know that you are.

This week I have been working on Weekend Warrior No More. Mostly organizing the two years plus worth of information I’ve accumulated while researching for this book. I’ve read through more congressional hearing testimony and DoD reports this week than I probably have in my lifetime.

Something bothers me though, as I do. I keep running across information I had no idea about. Things that would have been helpful – like specific programs related to jobs that my husband was “supposed” to go through after getting back from Iraq but never has heard of. Resources and websites that are at our disposal that I knew nothing about. It irks me a little that these folks are sitting in Washington, patting themselves on the backs for all of the wonderful tools and resources they’re putting together for Guard and Reserve when so very few of the very people they’re trying to help even know about those programs and services.

Then I ran across this little ditty. A transcript from a congressional hearing that was held in April of last year (2007). They were discussing family support programs for the military, and the committee meeting was led by Senators Ben Nelson and Daniel Akaka, Democrats from Nebraska and Hawaii, respectively.

Toward the end of the meeting, Sen. Akaka raises this question.

AKAKA: My final question, Mr. Chairman. I understand that the services do provide some family assistance to the National Guard and Reserves. However, what I have noticed is that this support tends to be in the form of brochures, pamphlets, or Web sites. What method or methods are being used by the department and services to ensure that active-duty personnel, National Guard and Reserves know about this information?

For instance, it’s my understanding that some families are unaware that
there were programs and organizations that may be of assistance to them, as
their servicemember is deployed, even though there are these informational
documents and Web sites available.

I would say many families are unaware of these programs and organizations. But here is what John McLaurin, Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Army in Human Resources, had to say:

MCLAURIN: Sir, I can answer it for the Army, and I’m sure my colleagues here can answer of the other services. We make a very concerted effort to ensure that the Reserve components are included in our planning. The integrated, multi-component family support network that is being put together now has representatives from both the Reserve and the Guard on it, to ensure, in fact, that not only are they part of the planning process, but the goodness that they offer, because they have very good, robust programs themselves out there, and they can actually reach out to the various states who have individualized programs and find the best practices out there, and hopefully we can incorporated them into the overall Army support, because, after all, sir, we are one Army.


HUH? What kind of answer was that? Not a very good one, if you ask me. More like, “I don’t know, and it’s really up to the Guard and Reserve to get that info out to their people.” Except it doesn’t always happen that way.

When my husband got ready to deploy, we got two armfuls of information to go through. But much of it didn’t apply to us – it was written for sea-going Navy seamen. My husband is a Seabee and has never stepped foot on a ship. All I can say is how grateful I am for Google because that’s how I found much of my info of what we needed. I had to wade through all of it to find just a few materials that really applied. And then I went and searched on my own for what I needed to know – an interesting challenge when you don’t always know what you’re looking for.

I do believe that we are in for changes, though, and that the time is nearing where we are going to start seeing improvements within the Reserve/Guard culture and communicating that information to the families. One thing I wish we could explain to these commanders and folks in charge: Info that’s sent home doesn’t always make it home, and it would be better suited I think to mail it so at least the wife has a chance to see it. When I think of all the times I’ve found info in my husband’s car that he was given to bring home from a drill weekend – and that info is now months old, if not older – well, I would be a very rich woman if I got paid every time it happened. Or, when I hear about something and ask my husband about it and he says, nah, I didn’t think it was important. (I’ve heard this one from other women as well, so I know it’s not just my husband blowing stuff off to tell his wife. It’s just men in general.)

So, I’d like to hear from you. If you’re a reservist or National Guard wife, how confident do you feel that you know or are aware of all the resources and programs available to you when it comes to deployment? Please comment and share your experience and let us know what branch you’re in because I do think that some branches are doing a better job than others. How do you connect with what’s going on? How do you stay “on top of things?”

Show Your Support For Military Spouses

I often get asked by well-meaning civilians what they can do to help military families. So… in honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day that’s coming up THIS FRIDAY (Hint, Hint, military husbands whose wives would really ‘preciate some ‘preciation)… here’s a list of tips I’ve put together.

We’re sending this press release out in hopes that we can get the word out to the community as well. Feel free to post on your own blog, but please give credit to Wives of Faith!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day (May 9) is a Reminder to
Community to Support Military Families

Nashville, Tenn. – In 1984 President Reagan proclaimed the Friday before Mother’s Day of each year to be Military Spouse Appreciation Day. This is the time to recognize military spouses for all they do to support their husbands or wives who serve with one of the Armed Forces of the United States of America.

There are many military spouses in Middle Tennessee – active, reserve and National Guard. When spouses leave for trainings or for deployments, families don’t always have the support they need but could definitely use. We know ordinary citizens are often willing to help, but don’t know how to start. Please consider the following list for ideas in getting involved in supporting military families. Your help will make a major difference.

Eight Ways to Show Support to a Military Spouse

1. Thank her (or him) for the service and sacrifice that their family and their service member provide for our country but keep your political views to yourself.
2. If you know a military family whose service member is gone for training or for deployment, ask for a specific list of things they could use help with. Organize a group to come help get those tasks done. Don’t assume someone else is already doing it.
3. Offer to bring a meal or better yet, invite the spouse and children over for dinner. Friendship is just as important as service.
4. Consider adopting a military family for the duration of a deployment. A one-time act of kindness is always appreciated, but being someone a spouse can count on for anything is priceless.
5. Organize a group at your church or in your community to help mow the yards or do other tasks for military spouses whose service member is gone.
6. Put a card in the mail periodically to encourage and let that military spouse know she’s being thought of today.
7. When you put together a care package for the service member, don’t forget to put a package or gift basket together for the spouse. Include bubble bath, chocolate and a gift card to a restaurant or a bookstore or movie rental store.
8. If you don’t know a military family personally, consider supporting or volunteering with an organization that helps military families such as Green Care for Troops, Operation Homefront, or Wives of Faith.

Wives of Faith is a faith-based military wives support organization that exists for the purpose of connecting all military wives in all branches of service and including active, retired, Reserve, and Guard, who are looking for encouragement and friendships with others sharing similar life experiences. Since starting in 2006, the group has seen chapters form in three different states including Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana.

The group will hold their spring regional event Monday, May 12 at The People’s Church in Franklin at 6:30 p.m. For more information, visit http://www.wivesoffaith.org/.

Supporting Military Wives

What a fantastic idea – if you are part of a church looking for ways to support military families (and I know you’re out there because several of you have contacted me over the last few weeks asking how you can help) – read this article for one idea you can do.

Linda Kalwasinski filled her Ford Explorer with almost 100 care packages in May
and drove them nine hours from Ohio to Fort Bragg.

Each package was wrapped in decorative paper and had a pretty bow — decorations that might be lost on paratroopers in Iraq and Afghanistan but perfect for their wives back home.

“They support our nation as much as the soldiers,” Kalwasinski said….

….Called the Fort Bragg Wives Project, members of Bay Presbyterian Church in Bay Village, Ohio, filled the boxes with gifts — cards, cosmetics, stamps, inexpensive jewelry, bubble bath — and a note thanking the spouses for their service.

Speaking of military wives, we are continuing to talk with ladies all around the country about starting Wives of Faith chapters in their area. It is exciting and a bit overwhelming at times because there are a lot of needs out there. If you are a church looking to help, please email me (sara @ sarahorn.com). I will put you to work! :)

Sock Monkeys for the Troops

Great little news article I ran across in my email from America Supports You. A woman started an organization called Sock Monkey Ministries – she enlists the help of volunteers to send sock monkeys to the troops, and now they’re expanding that to include Iraqi children as well, an act of kindness that can go along way with continually building that trust from the Iraqi people that our military, and our country, needs.